A Sweat Lodge Experience
Through a series of canceled plans and redirections, I found myself invited to a sweat lodge. It felt like the perfect timing, as I had been growing increasingly more irritable in the past 72 hours. Doing my best to remain grateful for the growth in my career and constantly surprised by the acknowledgements I receive in regards to my classes. My patience, in regards to other facets of my life, is wearing thin.
I need to sweat out my rage and worry. To let go of the unnecessary emotional pain I can feel bubbling up in my pores. I find this is the way I often feel before I experience energetic or spiritual healing. Whatever it is I’m needing to let go of and realize, teems at the surface. Waiting for the smallest bit of activation or acknowledgment from an outside source.
As I left the house, I found myself in a caffeine-fueled tizzy. Technology wasn’t working, so I couldn’t get the address to load, and nothing was happening as quickly as I wanted it to. Waiting to my car, I noticed a few monarchs lazily floating this way and that, making their way— slowly, south for the season.
I hit every red light before I hit the highway. Finally letting out a burst of frustration on the verge of tears, I shouted, “For the love of God, please just let me get there on time. I need this, I need to make it, and get rid of this built-up energy. I need to release whatever I’m clinging to. Please just let me make it.” I hit the highway and weaved in and out of traffic until I took sight of my exit.
The GPS, of course, showed me I arrived and dumped me on the side of the road. I laughed and snarkily let out an “of course”. Luckily, I saw a large white truck amble in the pasture and make its way to a cluster of cars. I could see smoke from their fire pit. I let out a huff and glanced at the clock: 10:00 am on the dot. I made it right on time.
I got out of my little blue Mini Coop and opened the gate to the pasture as instructed in the group chat. I drove forward and closed it behind me so as not to let out any rogue cattle. My Mini did its best off-roading through the pasture and reached a makeshift parking lot. I was greeted by smiling faces and energy that certainly did not match my own, and I felt instantly diffused. I could hear a voice in my head say, “See, you're right on time, exactly where you need to be at exactly the time you needed to be there. Three or four people arrived after me, and I laughed. It was like the universe couldn’t help but rub a bit of salt in my wound.
I noticed the last woman to arrive. She looked familiar. Someone called to her. At the mention of her name, I realized she was a woman who I had yet to meet but would, in fact, be working with in less than a couple of weeks. To confirm, I introduced myself. Sure enough, we’d be hosting an event together soon. The spirits giggled around me. “See, you’re exactly where you’re meant to be”.
The sweat lodge commenced. It was an honor to be welcomed by these strangers who treated me like family. I listened intently, as the men chanted and sang with gusto, sweat dripping from every pore. Realizing I had an edge, for some reason, about a month ago, I had started going to a gym and only selected the facility due to it having a steam room. I had to keep myself from laughing as the universe really drove the message home. “See, you were prepared for this”.
Before the ceremony began, a man with a Buddha belly and a smile to match, extended his hand, he said, “I feel like I know you”. I simply smiled and shook his hand. Who knows, maybe it’s the internet, maybe it’s a past life. Aren’t they both alternate realities? Either way, this wasn’t the first time we’d met, and it most certainly wouldn’t be the last.
Not so surprisingly this man, led the ceremony and was just my speed, he delivered his message with humor and understanding. After the ceremony— sitting in my folding chair, I listened as he spoke to those around him. He chatted and guided the conversation, I noticed a butterfly, not a monarch, but beautiful all the same. It floated about in the same lazy manner and came and settled on the collar of my denim button-up. A soft smile spilled into my cheeks. I gave it thanks for its message of trust and transformation. Returning my attention to the man, he who was unafraid to question his peers and to hold a mirror to any outdated or programmed beliefs.
Needless to say, as I write this, I’m feeling much better than how my day began. I’ve swigged some pickle juice and tossed my sweat-soaked clothes in the washer. Prepared my class for the week to come. Finding acceptance in not knowing where exactly I’m heading and comfort in the faith that I’m being skillfully prepared all the same.
